Is avoidance, denial and a simplistic answer that is not constructive.
Addressing the complex chain of causes and effects interactions is constructive, compassionate, creative and interesting.
Blaming the self acts as a “never-ending cycle” hindering personal growth and development. It fuels the illusion of being in control or victimized stagnating your relationship with you. Saying “it’s my fault” can feel safer or more empowering than admitting the situation is not in your control. Young children especially males being abused by a parent blame themselves rather than acknowledging that they were NOT physically, able to prevent being abused. This cognitive distortion acts as a protective shield against the fear of being vulnerable to future unexpected events and a way to discharge uncomfortable emotions like pain, anger or powerlessness.
Blaming the self or others prevents accepting the truth and or true accountability, which might be only a temporary release of anger or frustration, not a productive action.
Knowing and understanding the long chain of complex interactions of causes and effects empowers you, increases self worth and self compassion. How far back on the chain of cause and effect can you go maintaining tit for tat actions lacking compassion? Did you discover the original incident putting it all in motion. Everything that happened you created or allowed another to create for you. This is a complex tapestry of your choices made or not taken. Change of your cause and effect, can only happen NOW in present time.
Law of AWARENESS, Consciousness you are responsible for your choices.
Consider viewing painful life events as opportunities for growth and development rather than wrongs to be denied avoided or punished. Events your soul and you created and are happening now, are an opportunity for you to make different choices. We can resist the challenge and stagnate in our current group of feedback loops for as long as we are willing to enjoy the same results.
Know your challenges on earth are to keep your experiences interesting and educational for you. With you calm inquisitiveness and creativity know you and soul set your next lesson up for you to strengthen your confidence and enjoy your discovery process with as much enthusiasm as you can muster.
Research suggests that letting go of, or revising, unattainable goals is healthy rather than labelling something a failure or your fault. Seek neutral positive points of perceiving your experiences. Fixing things and others with rigid willpower is not compassionate. Allow for progress without perfectionism or what is not possible yet. Take 100% responsibility and ownership of your actions, thoughts, intent and responses. Creating for others is against the law of allowing and their freewill.
When you can’t depend on someone else DON’T!
When someone doesn’t want to play with you, allow that.
Shift to solutions that each individual can actually do to produce or fix what you are working on. Practicing empathy and compassion is realizing that individuals are often doing the best they can with the resources and cognitive abilities and emotional stability they have to operate with. Ultimately, accountability is necessary, excessive blame is counter-productive, whereas taking responsibility is empowering.
Make positive and loving remarks about you, to yourself. Your higher self or a good friend might offer other novel suggestion’s to work with. Demanding another to perceive reality the way YOU see things or want things to be, is against the law of allowing and their freewill.